Or, 'The Trials and Tribulations of Being Floor Warden'.
-------------------------------------------------------------
From: Me
Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2012 10:42 AM
To: A crap-ton of people
Subject: Holy crap, there was an earthquake!
AND MOST OF YOU DIED.
Your theoretical mother and I are very disappointed with the majority of you. Were you still among the living we would point out that the safety area for our building is actually out in the street as opposed to right next to the Admin Building, where most of you were tragically crushed by falling debris.
For those of you that DID survive, your theoretical mother and I are docking your allowances for the next year and a half to help pay for all the funerals. Shame on you for not letting your less knowledgeable siblings know where to safely stand.
Also, would it hurt you to pick up a phone occasionally? You’re breaking your theoretical mother’s heart.
Love,
Your Metaphorical Father Figure
No comments:
Post a Comment