Basically, somebody wrote a script to analyze your Steam
account information and throw lots of interesting stats in your face.For example, I’ve logged 494.8 hours in Sid
Meier’s Civilization 5; my total time played while logged into Steam is 1572.50
hours; and I’ve never played 37.7% of
the games I own through Steam (43).
Now, those last two factoids are actually wildly
incorrect.According to Steam I’ve never
played any of the Half-Life series, nor have I played any of the first six
Grand Theft Auto Games.In some cases
this is patently false, while others are half-truths (there are a number of
games I originally bought and played outside of Steam, and then later repurchased
as a digital copy through Steam for convenience).There’s also the matter of DLC (downloadable
content), which merely adds to a preexisting game rather than being something
completely new.
Having said that, it was surprising to manually go through
and see how many games I haven’t played, or have played for less than an hour (32
in all).To rectify this embarrassing situation,
I plan on spending one hour on each of these games and then sharing my thoughts
with you.I shall call it, “One (Hour)
At a Time.”
The earliest memory I can recall of acting on stage was an
abbreviated version of “The Phantom Tollbooth” which we performed in middle
school.The only line I remember having,
described a punishment that involved picking away at a mountain of salt with a sewing
needle.
I recall going to an acting camp sometime later in middle
school with one of my best friends at the time, but I don’t remember any
details beyond not showering for the entire week because they were communal and
I was embarrassed to be seen naked.
Fast forward to senior year in high school when I finally
got into one of the main stage productions (I had been in one or two one-off
shows at school, but I didn’t feel like those really counted).Admittedly, my inclusion into “The Will Rogers Follies” that year probably had something to do with the majority of the
senior class boycotting the show due to drama with the drama teacher (shocker,
I know), but one does not look a gift horse in the mouth.
When I got into college I became a lot more prolific, having
decided to major in Theatre (alongside Computer Science), and it’s at that
point when I actually started my education in the craft.While I had taken Theatre Arts for four years
in high school, I discovered very early into my college education that I hadn’t
actually been taught much over the last four years.
This was made apparent when I went back to high school that
first year to see some of friends perform “Little Shop of Horrors.” With only a
few months of classes under my belt, I could already see all the glaring
problems and shortcomings with the performance onstage.I wanted to take everyone aside after the
show and explain about subtext and motivation and tactics and all the other
wonderful nuances about acting that made it so wonderful.But I did not.I congratulated them on a great performance
and made my way back to college.
Over the course of my college career I did about a
half-dozen shows, and worked tech on about the same number.And though I never managed to be a particularly
good student I did manage to graduate with my BA and weasel my way into an
internship up in the Poconos (Pennsylvania)
for eight months.
It was here that I got my first glimpse into the
professional actor’s life, getting to live and work side-by-side with
professional actors, whose stories of living in New York and traveling on national tours
were filled with drugs, sex, humor, wonder and enough adventures to fill up a single
life three-fold.I had no desire to live
job-to-job though, and was content to stick with community theatre after my
internship was over and I returned to Virginia.Perhaps it was not as crazy a lifestyle as
those held by the professionals, but I’ve had my own share of stories to tell
and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.
I spent the next four years in and out of the community
theatre scene in Northern Virginia, right up until I left for California in 2006.My final huzzah was one of my favorite
experiences, “Disney’s Beauty & the Beast,” in which I got to play
Fishmonger, Wolf and Salt Shaker as part of a wonderful cast of
characters.I made a ton of friends
during the run, and had I not left I’d probably still be in constant contact
with all of them today.But I did leave,
and in doing so unwittingly started a six year drought from acting which was
only recently ended with my performance in “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson.”
But that’s fodder for another post, and this one has already
run on longer than I had intended, so I’ll leave things here for today.
So I was on Wipeout recently. For those of you not familiar with the ABC show, it’s essentially a giant obstacle course for adults with the promise of a $50,000 cash prize should you be the last man (or woman) standing. My episode, Hillbilly Wipeout, can be seen below.
I had heard of Wipeout before, but hadn’t considering auditioning until one of my friends got on and won the whole thing. I wasn’t sure I’d be allowed to audition because I worked in the television industry, but apparently as long as you aren’t personal friends with anyone at ABC you’re fair game.
So way back in October I went in for the on-camera audition which involved filling out forms for 30 minutes, 3 minutes of actual interviewing (give me your battle cry; why do you want to be on Wipeout?; how do you intend to win?; tell me about your most embarrassing moment; what would you do with the money if you won?) followed by another hour of filling out background checks and medical information.
Obviously they saw something they liked and come April they let me know that the producers had okayed me for an episode and after a quick drug/fitness screening I’d be on my way to fame and fortune.
Our call was 6am on a Monday morning up in Canyon County, about 40 minutes north of where I live. When I got there it was still dark out, and I was led into a double wide trailer that housed the rest of my fellow contestants (21 in all, though normally there are supposed to be 24). We spent the first hour settling in, signing more forms and getting the rundown on how things would be handled throughout the day, including a verbal description of the course.
The first round would prune the initial twenty-four contestants to twelve, who would then proceed to the next round after lunch (with the rest being sent home). That following round would reduced the contestants to six players, who would come back later in the week to be pared down to three. And finally, the remaining three would show up the following Monday for an evening shoot of the final round.
Suffice to say I went home at the end of the first day, but I had an absolute blast while I was there. And it was easily the most physically demanding thing I have ever done in my life. The first time you hit the water isn’t that bad, but you have to remember you’re fully clothed with a bulky life jacket on and have to climb up a ladder to get the next obstacle. This gets exhausting IMMEDIATELY. Especially when you have to do it three more times before you reach the finish line.
The second round was a little more gentle as it wasn’t timed, but I still spent a ton of time in the drink, swimming back again and again in an attempt to overcome each phase of the obstacle course. I had one good shot at making it (which is shown in the episode), but sadly came up short. But as I said I had a great time and met a few people that I’d like to stay in touch with, so I can hardly complain.
I was planning to send them a video after the episode aired in an attempt to coerce them into doing a ‘Best of the Worst’ episode as an excuse to bring me back but got beaten to the punch as the following week’s episode was exactly that. At least it gives me hope that they might do another one in the future and I can snag myself some more face time on national television. :D
