Every once in a while the desire for artistic output gets overwhelming and my first option is almost always rewriting lyrics for potential Youtube videos. It’s rare that it ever makes it to that last step (Bus Driver Lament being the sole exception I’m willing to link to), but I’ve managed a handful of full rewrites and tons of false starts that puttered out.
One of these is a rewrite of Mariah Carey’s 'Touch My Body' which was transformed into 'Touch My Brownies.' Jeff was even going to film a full high-def video of it, but when I finally sat down to record the lyrics I discovered I couldn’t sing high enough to match the music (surprise surprise). One of these days I might see if I can find someone to re-record on piano a few octaves lower. Anywho, I though I’d go ahead and share the lyrics since I thought they were amusing.
| ORIGINAL | NEW LYRICS |
| I know that you've been waiting for it I'm waiting too In my imagination I'd be all up on you I know you got that fever for me Hundred and two And boy I know I feel the same My temperature's through the roof If there's a camera up in here Then it's gonna leave with me When I do (I do) If there's a camera up in here Then I'd best not catch this flick On YouTube (YouTube) 'Cause if you run your mouth and brag About this secret rendezvous I will hunt you down 'Cause baby I'm up in my bidness Like a Wendy interview But this is private Between you and I Touch my body Put me on the floor Wrestle me around Play with me some more Touch my body Throw me on the bed I just wanna make you feel Like you never did. Touch my body Let me wrap my thighs All around your waist Just a little taste Touch my body Know you love my curves Come on and give me what I deserve And touch my body. Boy you can put me on you Like a brand new white tee I'll hug your body tighter Than my favorite jeans I want you to caress me Like a tropical breeze And float away with you In the Caribbean Sea If there's a camera up in here Then it's gonna leave with me When I do (I do) If there's a camera up in here Then I'd best not catch this flick On YouTube (YouTube) 'Cause if you run your mouth and brag About this secret rendezvous I will hunt you down 'Cause baby I'm up in my bidness Like a Wendy interview But this is private Between you and I Touch my body Put me on the floor Wrestle me around Play with me some more Touch my body Throw me on the bed I just wanna make you feel Like you never did. Touch my body Let me wrap my thighs All around your waist Just a little taste Touch my body Know you love my curves Come on and give me what I deserve And touch my body. I’m a treat you like a teddy bear You won't wanna go nowhere In the lap of luxury Ba-by just turn to me You won't want for nothing boy(Nooo) I will give you plenty joy Touch my body Put me on the floor Wrestle me around Play with me some more Touch my body Throw me on the bed I just wanna make you feel Like you never did. Touch my body Let me wrap my thighs All around your waist Just a little taste Touch my body Know you love my curves Come on and give me what I deserve And touch my body. Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah Oh yeah oh yeah Oh oh oh oh yeah Touch my body... | I know that you've been waiting for it I'm waiting too In my imagination I’d be cooking for you I’ve got the oven preset for Three hundred and two And my KitchenAid is ready For whatever I’ll do. You’d better bring your appetite If you gonna let me cook For you-ou (you-ou) You’d better bring your appetite ‘Cause my culinary skills are All “Mon Dieu!” (“Mon Dieu!”) But if you share my recipe You won’t be getting anymore That shit just ain’t cool Girl I promise you’ll be jonesing For the things I’ve got in store So come on over And give it a try Touch my brownies Use them for some S’mores Have them a la carte Baby they’re all yours Touch my brownies They’ve got chocolate chips A swirl of caramel Taste it on your lips Touch my brownies Eat them all day long Don’t try to resist Temptation is too strong Touch my brownies No one has to know Just keep this info on the down low And touch my brownies You won't want for nothing girl Just take from me These brownies have no trans fat And are calorie free I know you think that’s crazy I mean how could that be? But trust me when I say That this dessert is guilt free You’d better bring your appetite If you gonna let me cook For you-ou (you-ou) You’d better bring your appetite ‘Cause my culinary skills are All “Mon Dieu!” (“Mon Dieu!”) But if you share my recipe You won’t be getting anymore That shit just ain’t cool Girl I promise you’ll be jonesing For the things I’ve got in store So come on over And give it a try Touch my brownies It’s no metaphor These are hot and fresh Can’t buy ‘em at the store Touch my brownies Rub them on your face Along with tasting good they exfoliate Touch my brownies You know you want to Just a little bite It’ll be all right Touch my brownies Else they’ll go to waste Think of the folks starving every place And touch my brownies I’m a culinary Steve McQueen Girl this stuff is high cuisine You won’t find this anywhere Brownies beyond compare You won’t no knife or fork Just make sure the wine’s uncorked Touch my brownies Use them as you will I don’t really care Throw em on the grill Touch my brownies They will never end As long as you’re my super Secret lady friend Touch my brownies This is your last chance If you want a taste Come on show some haste Touch my brownies They can’t be compared So come on and taste what I’ve prepared And touch my brownies Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah Oh yeah oh yeah Oh oh oh oh yeah Touch my brownies... |
No comments:
Post a Comment